Yeshiva University High School For Boys - Elchanite Yearbook (New York, NY)

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THE ELCHANITE Seventy-F1've the fat globules and clung' to the hairs of his beard till his whole face was gleaming' a11d warm. And so with a melody on his lips Yoshel taps on a door. Yon know-ow. Mrs. Jacobs. to day ees Friday-erev Shaboshf' Mrs. Jacobs regarded him in a strangely ominous manner. Vot. you ganef, you com again ven I only just gafe it to anoder. avec!,' Staggered. stupefied. Yoshel fell back. NVhat did this mean? Another schnorrtr? He. the oftlcial schnorrer for tive years to have competition now? XVas another to enter his dom- ains, violate all treaties. all sacred documents. all unwritten laws of the Sehnorrer's Exalted Kingdom? No, no, it could not be! It was only an excuse. She did not have any money now! Yes, that was it. Hopefully but a trifle less confidently, Yoshel tapped on another door. The next moment a figure was flying' down the street, fingers convulsively work- ing' at a white pasty substance covering' his face and beard-a sub- stance strangely similar to dough. Too true! Too true! Yoshel's beard fell and ceased its dancing. 0 dreams. how you bring' us happiness. yet take it away leaving' us more desolate with their fading than before! O. evanescent plate of soup! The mous- tache fell, the tails of his frock-coat drooped dejectedly and in ready sympathy the insensate stove-pipe drooped eonsolingly over his head and fell on his acquiline. drooping' nose with a sqeaking' strangled sound of woe. Diseonsolately Yoshel trudg- ed home. lVise Yoshel had saved a neat little sum of money. t'For a 'snowing' day. he eomplacently thought. It was cvidentl-too evident-that the snowing ' day had arrived and Yoshel prepared to utilize his com- forter. if if ii Tap! Tap! Tap! Mr. Yankel lionkowieh awoke with a start from his pleasant somnolence. lmmersed in a heap of thrilling melo- dramas. cheap cigar stumps and spotum he had been congratulating' himself upon his success in the in- vasion of Yoshel's territory. But now Yankel was all action. VViti1 alaerity born of long' practice he threw all the vile trash into a near- by hidden basket. Then he Hung' his head into his outstretched arms and began to weep bitterly. An onlooker would have thought he was a starv- ing. heart-broken creature. had he not been quickly undeeeived by the repulsive mound of obesity and the splitting vest beneath the table. Yan- kel placed an onion eoaxingly near his retreating' nose. and the rising' wails and the sobbing' voice in which he cried out cum in would have melted a heart of stone. The door swung' back drearily upon its creaking hinges. 1'eluctant to admit one into such a room. Framed in the doorway was a majes- tic figure,-a figure majestic enough to compel any one 's admiration. even the snivelling' Yankel's. Tall and thin. he stood. with aseetic features. covered by a long' jet-black beard and drooping' moustache. and over all a sympathetic audacious stove- pipt- hat. The waist-coat would

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.Seventy-Four THE ELCHANITE The Revenge of Prince Yoshel PHILIP Bl'R.-XCK. RE the jade-eyed, feline creatures had ceased their horrible protests to the hard greyish heavens the myr- iad streets of the Ghetto were alive. Dirty clouds of factory smoke en- shrouded the labyrinth of streets in gloom. while far in the distance the metallic sun rose like a jack in the box from among numerous ash cans. And over all smoke-and dust-and pandemoniunr- Vaiber. vaiber. feesh. cheap. vai- ber. cheap. vaiber. feeshf' Corpulent women. fair women, wizened women stroll along. critical- ly surveying the broken. ill-smelling carts with the shrewed eyes ot con- noisseurs and with a manner strik- ingly akin to that of the more sum- ptuously clad Fifth Avenue promen- aders. XVomen are alike every- where. Here a. push-cart has been overthrown and the iishmonger is wallowing among the gasping fish in the pool. He had been a bit too poetical. He had only likened in a fit or passionate eloquence the eyes oif a dead fish to those of a prospect- ive tustomer. Noise-noise. Sudden- ly a vigrorous voice rises transfzend- ing the others ti smh -1 degree that it verily seems to come from the entire babbling. garrolous multitude -a voice still redolent, with youth and accompanying melody- 'tEast Side. Vest Side All avec from down townf' Yoshel skipped gaily along. his tobacco-stained moustache dancing joyously with the extremities of his careering beard. The silk hat that he had cajoled from Benkel. the junk-pedler. sat pertly askew on his head and seemed about to fall from its dangerous perch at every moment, but always changed its senseless mind. Yoshel sings-and why not? To- day is Friday! Collection Day! But why tell more of the famous charact- er. Yoshel the schnorrer of the East Side? Une need only look at the blazing bandanna so attectionately embracing his neck and at that long majestic beard on his leonine feat- ures to know that here is no common schnorrer: that here is a member of the schnorrer's nobility-a veritable prince. But even a prince has dreams and to-day Yoshel had his share of Utopian chimeras, of sweet cakes. dainty dishes. luscious puddings and other targrant dreams that invariab- ly preceded his weekly round. They swam in his brain until the very music which filled his head had to seek escape and flow through his open lips in a steady. pleasant stream of song. The reflection of lustrous coins was already in his flashing eyes and his beard danced still more joy- ously with the thought- of soon plunging itself in ineffable ecstasy into a plate of warm. light-greenish soup with thick streaks of fat shining and glistening with the rays of the lamp that shattered themeslves over

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Seventy-Six THE ELCHJNITE have revealed several egg stains upon closer scrutiny: the Prince Al- bert, a rather glistening exterior: but the brass-headed cane and the aristocratic air completely humbled lowly Yankel. Yoshel, for he was the visitor. looked contemptuously at the rapid- ly widening. glistening pool of tears about Yankel's feet. Evidently this creature was of the scum of the schnorrers-a sehnorrer who debased himself to the most degrading meth- ods. a sehnorrer who disgraced the noble, the exalted. the sublime pro- fession. Yoshi-l's eloquent eyes smouldered with rage at this droolerg but he was not a prince without reason. Remembering his assumed part. Yoshel looked everywhere but at Yankel, taking his salty bath and haughtily said: HI would like to see Mister Yankel llonkowiehf' 'tDots me,', from Yankel in a rather apologetic tone. If you want any work done-I don 't tink- Oh, no. no. hastened Yoshel. I'm a lawyer. You see' Mister Hon- kowieh. dere's a certain lady who has the honor of carrying your name. Ca slight shiverl in oder vords a Misses Bonkowich who ees about to die. in oder vords. who since she ces dying stops to leeve and so can- not possibly use de money on dis earth vich can only be used by dose who live and since she is dying- Poor Yoshel would have tioundered on indefinitely had not Yankel in- terrupted him with a woop of joy. A Misses Bonkowieh? I get you! She tinks I'm related to her! And she's got de money. Oi, just like a novel! I'm de bootiful heroine and I get de money. Yankel was danc- ing. tears still dripping from his clothes-a ludicrous. an ugly sight. his whole body wiggling disgustingly with every twirl. Quick. de adress. 0, God. don't let'er die till I come. Den let 'er- Yoshel was overwhelmed with dis- gust. Squeezing the address into Yankel's eager hand he quickly turned away. t'Tra-la-la-tra-la-la. Money-money. tra-la 3 Yankel Bonkowieh. seizing his hat and eoat. danced out of the room and in his eagerness fell, head over heels. down the staircase. Yoshel regarded sadly Yankel's precipitating figure. And dis is my rival! Dot I should have been lowered like dot! IVhy did I not call a convention of the sehnorrers who would have revenged me? Hut. no. I will revenge myself. Now, dot he vent to Boston, I can go on vit my plan. Ven he comes back- - - Dot - I - I should have been lowered like dot. A mel- ancholy smile tiitted over his pale Protean features as he approached the dirty window. But I will pay him! Ui. will I pay him ! Day was reluctantly breathing its last and as Yoshel looked pensive- ly through the dirty pane. the tur- quoise-blue of the heavens changed to the brilliant hue of many opals. Uver the peculiar play of delicate opalesehent colors sailed almost trans- parent tufts' of clouds in frail boats of silver. And stretching their scrawny necks-daring even to look at Nature's majestic painting were the ugly. teeming tenements, hiding the beautiful sight from Yoshel's longing eyes.