Virginia Military Institute - Bomb Yearbook (Lexington, VA)

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THE 4 -r EQUIPMENT While the Institute furnishes the essentials of military life, experience has taught that the following articles might possibly add to one ' s personnel : One chamliermaid One manicure set One Morris chair Four Persian rugs One pool table One anity box One shaky Ford One mahogany bar One brassiere Accessories for three An artist model and suitable situations. Evening clothes and prerequisites for gentlemen of leisure. One New York directory, and flowing command of French suitable for con- versation with certain after-Taps BIRDMEN. DEPORTMENT AND JUTIES fill }iioncy in my j itrsc — ' tis the iiidcl ' s jnly — Nickolini On reaching Lexington, proceed directly to Headquarters, and introduce yourself to Old Nick. Be cordial and friendly, by making some jocular remark like, Well, here I am. JPagc Two Hundred Fifty-Six

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KEYDET LIFE SIDELIGHTS ON CADET LIFE By THE BRAINLESS BEAM, A.B.C., V.W.Z. AUTHOR OF AN HOUR BEFORE AULD NICK THREE MONTHS AFTER THAT TO REV. IN A UNION SUIT TO THE H ' s IN A HURRY tremendous work, every expense has been spared, and no money has been spent to make this the most incomplete and unauthorized book of CADET LIFE yet published. In order that there might be more mistakes than necessary, the author has conferred with the SUBS and other DLTBS of fL r i known incompetence. With sense of deep mortification and burning shame, therefore, he makes ungrateful acknowledgments to the following, whose kindly inter- ference has made this stupendous task largely impossible. Prince Piccolo Peyton having interest in ELLEN ' S PRESERJ ' ES C. PT. Im.. Chung Witt of the TREXCH MARLNES Count Yung T. lk Leggett originator of the LEMOX EXTRACT erace C. pT. Hooper L p Goodwin in search of THE PERFECT ' 36 ' Sergt. Heeza Weesal Wills of the JEWISH JITNEYS Page Two Hundred Fifty-Five

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THE Old Socks; how ' s Nick and all the little tricks? He will hardly appear embarrassed, so clap him on the back familiarly, and impress it upon him forcefully that you want to be his pal. You will then be escorted to the Military Store by an X.-C. O. Here you will be detained for a few minutes, and SUSPENDERS, the BUSTING BIRD, will attempt to sell you something; but don ' t be seduced. He will turn you over to Creeping J., who. following the policy of his MASTER, will take your balance, and order you to report to barracks under strict military discipline. Saunter into the arch (it may be your last chance), and make yourself known to the O, D., telling him you want a room and private bath, if he ' s the clerk of the joint. You will in all probability get one, which you will find surprisingly large by the number of meek Third Classmen it can accommodate — men who always pay their respects to the newly arrived, and inquire as to Wlio you are. and why? Entertain them with some little witticism at the expense of one of their numlier — but close faniiharity should be avoided. It may turn out later that they talk spitefully liehind your liack. and are not the right kind of friends. No further advice need be given the R- TS. for they are the most privileged of all classes, being given certain by-paths for tlieir special use, and having PERMISSION to walk in an attitude decidedly all their own. Do as you please — for a while ; you will soon learn better. - X 77 c $ C- tc n Two Hundred Fifty-;