University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI)

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yOUR CORSAGE MUST 1 BE CORRECT TO BE yjE FAVOR YOU with this add and in return look for your sole and heel re- pairs. Broadcast our Good EFFECTIVE SO MAKE Work to your friends. SURE AND GET IT AT LAURITZEN’S WIDE AWAKE SHOE SHOP Eau Claire, Wisconsin 209 Eau Claire Street Eau Claire, Wisconsin A Woodland Fantasy Once on a beautiful Autumn day as I was sauntering through a small tract of woodland. I came upon a spot so beautiful 1 stopped and looked in wonder. I sat on a fallen tree which barred its entrance to gaze my fill of its beauty. I sat there in silence for an indeterminate length of time. Suddenly. I was aroused from my reverie by many und various noises. I raised my glance and saw a dignified and solemn looking owl. perched on a tree stump. His stare which was directed at me was the very essence of disapproval. At his right was a multitude of various small animals. I was startled at so strange a sight and still more startled when I heard the sonorous voice of the owl boom out. Do you plead guilty or not guilty of having brought misfortune and death to many of our kingdom ? I understood then that I was to be tried for the needless and wanton cruelty of mankind to those little animals. I lowered my head and answered sorrowfully. Guilty, your Honor. we will then hear testimony against you, so that the magnitude of your crimes will be known to the court, and a fit sentence determined upon. Mrs. Gopher, tell your story to the court. A timid little mouse-like animal came forward and started talking. We had just built our new home. It was a beautiful place hollowed out in the middle of the new com field. We were very happy together until one morning Mr. Gopher went out to get some food. I heard a cry of pain and agony. I rushed to the door and there he was caught fast in a trap at our very door. I tried to help him, but I could do nothing. I heard voices coming through the com field, and I hurried downstairs. I'hcy took him away then. Several days later I found his body without a nead at the edge of the field. ’ Mrs. Gopher was led away weeping. She was the very picture of grief and desolation. I'hc eyes of the court were directed at me. as though I was expected to defend mvself. How could I explain that the state had placed a bounty of five cents a head on gophers? How could I tell them that we considered them destructive to com? I couldn't, and so 1 sat with bowed head. I'hc next testimony was given by an old ja k rabbit. He appeared to be very proud and dignified. It was apparent that he held some position of importance in his tribe. I shall testify for all of my race that we arc being brutally and callously murdered in wholesale lots. Men come into the woods with guns and shoot us for the sport of it. Formerly, they took the body away with them, but now. as often as not they leave the body lying where it fell. ITicse murders are needless, cruel and wanton. Our tribe is diminishing. We arc filled with grief and sorrow on seeing our loved ones dead and lying here strewn carelessly around the forest. I again remained silent, for how could I explain that science had discovered a new disease carried by rabbits that was harmful to men? I coud not. No matter what my reasons of defence were. I could never justify their reasons for accusation. I'hc various testimonies went on and on until the sun began to sink down behind the trees. 'I’hc birds told how they were being killed by mischievous boys--the beautiful tanager- the oriole killed for his beautiful plumage. The squirrel told his misfortunes in much the same manner us the rabbit. To all of them I had no answer. Finally the owl judge said. l o you wish to say anything before sentence is passed? Yes , I cried. Yes. I can not defend myself. 1 can only say— 1 raised my hand to brush the mist from my eyes and found the woods were empty and still. My voice rang out on the empty air. Forgive us. little creatures. Forgive us ull our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass. Mrs. John Piltz Bob Halmstad (before the debate)—Our fate is in the laps of the gods. Bob Mills—Then we'd better hope they don't stand up. Miss O'Malley—What is the first letter in the alphabet’ Pupil—I shan't tell you. M. O'M -But you must. Pupil— I didn't come here to teach you. but for you to teach me. E. Pratt—What's your idea of a clean sport? Gordon I lanson—Swimming. one hundred fifty-five

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Mr. Hillier—My text for today is from the morning paper: Never put off until tomorrow what you can get someone else to do today. I think this text is applicable to a great many students of this school— with the exception of this class, of course. Lester Gilbertson—I don't understand why I got Poor on this map, lone Drew—What did you do wrong1 Lester Gilbertson—Nothing that 1 know of. I just got ambitious and colored the whole thing instead of that small part assigned us. Mr. Hillier—I sec by the morning paper Miss Sutherland 11 you will permit me— Dr. Snyder in toto. Dr. Judd--Some of you girls should be in somebody's kitchen instead of in college. Mr. I onaldson—I know that it is hard for you boys to concentrate on what I am saying when there arc so many pretty girls near you. Mr. l;ox—The reason why students don't get their lessons is that they spend most of their time in the balcony. Mrs. Kay (to Louis Berg in cafeteria one morning) —I'm sorry, but the coffee is exhausted. Louis Berg—Yes. poor thing. I vc not iced for sometime that it was very weak. Mr. Whclihan (to Pat when he came home for Christmas vacation) Well, my son. have you any debts1 Pat—No. father, no debts that you will not be able to pay with diligence, economy, and stem self-denial. Life When I was a child. 1 wanted a doll; When a maid, a knight; When a maiden, a lover; When a wife, a babe; When an old woman—death. Ann Hknkkman Ebcr Simpson—Father, teacher wants us to bring to school a simple explanation of inflation and also of the Einstein theory. I wish you'd tell me. Major Simpson All right. I'll begin with the Einstein theory; that's the easier. Worth It? This year, incidental fees paid at the Eau Claire State Teachers' College by students who were residents of Wisconsin were forty dollars a student. How much did it actually cost the State of Wisconsin for each student enrolled here1 The enrollment for 1932-'33 including the Summer School, was Primary Course. 118; Grammar Course. 71; High School Teachers' Course. 400; Rural Course. 51; Special Students. 10; and Summer School. 51. This total of 707 students is an average of the students enrolled the first and second semesters, who will have attended school this year for thirty-six weeks, and one-sixth of the 300 students who attended Summer School in 1932 for a period of six weeks From July I. 1932. to June 30. 1933. the expenditures were capital. $10,731.25; maintenance. $4,514.43; and operation. $130,355.00. With the cost of operation thus at $151.000.74 and the total enrollment at 707, the outlay of the state of Wisconsin to educate each student during the year 1932-1933. was $214 43; in oth-othcr words. $174.43 net for each student. I’his difference between what each student paid and the amount just indicated as the net cost of educating each student was made up by the tax payers of the state. 1. D. W. Taves—I hear a knocking. Maybe it's your opportunity. J. Barnes—Naw, that ain't opportunity. Opportunity knocks but once. Mr. Donaldson—The debate teams this year are better than ever before. Spectator Reporter (timidly)—May we quote you on that, Mr. Donaldson. Mr. Donaldson—Yes, but don't say I said it. Mr. Murray (in English Methods)—For next time I want you to examine Mr. Thomas's Appendix. AUGUST HANSEN FURNITURE STORE HOMEMAKERS, ESPECIALLY BEGINNERS, FIND US HEADQUARTERS FOR THE BEST FURNITURE, RUGS, CARPETS, AND ALL HOUSE FURNISHINGS. Eau Claire, Wisconsin one hundred fifty-four

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H. F. Vanderbie JEWELER and SILVERSMITH Highest Cash Prices Paid for Old Gold EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN Interesting Companions Undoubtedly realizing that they have heretofore neglected the “Book of Books. many college students when approached with the old yet thought-provoking ouestion as to what five books they would choose for a desert islund companion, chose the Bible first. They gave no reason for including the Bible on their list— its value was taken for granted. However, the professor who has labored through tedious periods to make his classes appreciate literature will be proud to know that Shakespeare's plays achieved a place second only to the Bible. The list included such favorites as Hamlet A Midsummer Night 's Dream, and The Tempest. The choices of those who were asked the question ranged all the way from the classics to contemporary books. Joan Fisher confessed her fondness for Cyrano dc Bergerac, and James O'Donnell insisted on taking a copy of Milton's Paradise Lost. Edna Mary l ec named Galsworthy's Forsyte Saga. Undsct's krsiten Lavransdalter. and Millay's Second April. Choosing from American poets. Anne Hcnncman placed Leaves of Grass among her selections. The “practical choices came from Bill Stafford and Eldon Pratt. As might be cxpxtcd from a science major, Bill would take with nim textbooks on botany, invertebrate zoology, anatomy, and psychology ' in order to better understand his surroundings The cver-studious Eldon would take five books on the Einstein Theory, presumably feeling safe in the knowledge that he could never hope to exhaust their contents. “Bob Mills, however, thought of his physical needs first. Heading his list was Nancy Crocker's Cook Book, and then he added Shakespeare and a volume of short stories to “guard against the possibility of going insane! Anon. Hands Hands arc like the person to whom they belong. Somehow- the secret character of the person is told by the hands, although some of them do not tell the story very well. One day in the library my eyes wandered and came to rest upon a pair of hands. They were a striking pair. 'ITiey were coarse and worn, but the nails were beautifully curved and cut. What did these hands tell of the persons character? Without knowing the person, one could get an idea of the owner of those hands. We Thank You For Your Patronage IDLEWILD Always the Best Music Eau Claire, Wis. Again my eyes wandered around the room and suddenly caught a bright spot of color. A finger nail? Yes! This was another pair of striking hands The nails were brilliant red and the hands were milk white. T his pair of hands certainly “gave away the person's character, and the story was very well told. Anon. Teachers’ Retirement Fund Cheer up future school teachers! When you enter the ranks of the teaching profession you will be assuring yourself an income for your declining years. In view of the past few years, wouldn't that appeal to a young person preparing to enter any profession? ITie prospect is made possible by the Wisconsin Teachers' Retirement Fund. From the time a teacher has attained the age of twenty-five years, he automatically begins to save money for this fund by paying in five percent of his income, 'lire state, out of its income from income sur-taxes. then pays into the fund a constantly increasing sum. from year to year, and then in addition to this the state gives each teacher a bonus of twenty-five dollars each year. Any Wisconsin teacher is privileged to retire after having taught for twenty-five years and reached the age of fifty, and receive a monthly income for the remainder of his life. Depending on the amount of the teacher's income and length of service, the monthly payment will range from twenty-five dollars or more each month. In the event the teacher dies before retiring from the profession. the entire fund accumulated to his credit is paid to his estate, just as life insurance is paid. This phase of the Wisconsin teacher's opportunities is one that is not usually understood by many people. even those contemplating a teaching profession. Anon. Closely Allied Dr. Schneider—Who will take the topic on the concentration of wealth in the United States? Mr. I Icydcr- May I take that topic? Dr. S.—But you're working on the Jewish question. Mr. Hcydcr -I know, but they're so closely allied. one hundred fifty- ix