University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI)

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Our of Limbo In spice of the fact that superstition is supposed to be a characteristic of the Dark Ages, some students here are superstitious. EIvcru Daul never fails to wish at the first star she sees in the evening. She also wears a charming pipe-cleaner idol called Iggy when she wants to have a good day. Clarice Chase broke three mirrors fifteen years ago when the family was moving. She is very sure that if this had not happened her luck during the last fifteen years would have been much better. Jim Barnes said. I am very superstitious. I like to break mirrors, am especially fond of black cats, and would look for bad luck if I saw a ladder against a house and failed to walk under it. Two prominent A Cappclla members, Lester Gilbertson and Jane Mooney, never sing before breakfast because of the old belief. Sing before breakfast, erv before supper. Jane also shuns cracks in sidewalks, because when she was still in hair-ribbons and short socks, she was told that to step on a crack was to break her mother’s back. Irene Lenz believes that some terrible calamity would come to her if she ever failed to put her left stocking on first. Art Hanstrom has a disreputable old blue and white hockey cap that he always wears on Mondays. Wednesdays, and Fridays, because it brings him gotxl luck in chemistry. I ave Zenoff expects a rainstorm if he finds himself looking cross-eyed. Art' Nadlcr always carries a pencil over his right jBBI lone Flatland believes that Friday, the thirteenth is an unlucky day. Betty Nielsen always wears the same apron when she makes-up characters for a play. The Assembly Hour (Being a mellowdrama with full directions for presentation and stage effects. May be produced by permission of Board of Regents in any Teachers’ College.) Curtain rises on stage, empty, save for a pulpitlike arrangement, which supports the frame of a tall, rather annoyed-looking man who is listed on the pro- Eram os President Schofield ' He is glaring at a uzzing aggregation of what appear to be college students. President Schofield—Har-rr-rumph! (long pause) HAR-RR-RUMPH! (pause). Well, when you people back under the balcony get through making announcements. I have a few I’d like to make. (Eventually a sort of silence falls, and President Schofield again speaks.) I lar-rr-rumph' (reads from slip in hand) Mary-Mary- looks like Zxcctaschrd no. that's not it—Mary —well, Mary somebody is to report to the office after assembly. And by the way, whoever wrote that announcement could stand a few lessons in penmanship. Hem' (Reads). The English Literature assignment for Friday is on the board in Room 233. Allan Randall is to see Mr. Murray immediately after assembly. Will the following (reading 38 names) meet in, in front of and in a line down the hall leading to Dr. Davenport’s office, at the close of assembly. Aa-aah, Arnold Resold may make his announcement. Arnie (rising and bowing suavely from the waist) First of all. 1 want to tell you little kiddies how glad I am to be with you again. And I should like to have a meeting of the M. A. A. governing board at the front of the assembly immediately after dismissal. President Schofield— Margaret O’Malley may make her announcement. Margaret (rising and donning a reproachful look) - I wish to remind all Seniors that their Periscope pictures must be in by the end of next week at the latest. This is the fifth and last deadline we are setting for you. And will the members of the following organizations please remain after assembly to have their pictures taken for the Periscope: M.A.A.. W.A.A., Y.W. C.A.. N R A.—no. I mean the French Club and Strut and Fret. President Schofield— Humph! Leonard Haas may make his announcement. I.conard (Rising and looking wildly about him as he speaks at the rate of 432 words a minute.) The Frenchclubwillholdamcetingasuppcrmccting.inthe c afe-teriaatseveno'clocktomorrownignt ;wc'dlikctoscecvcryon etherc;thecharg cisonlytenccnts .wcguarantccagaxj timetothosewhoattend ;willalldebatcrsmcctinMr l on-akkon'sroomforashorttimcatthccloscofasscmbly ’The oratorsarcaskedtoseeMr I onaklsonsomet imetoday. PrcsidcntSchofield—' Arc there any other announcements’ (silence) If not. I'd like to say a few words in regard to fees. (The program may be varied by having President Schofield talk about parked cars, if desired, in which ease it will be necessary to furnish him with a few license numbers to read. Either talk averages twenty minutes, and neither will be included here ) President Schofield (emerging unwearied from pre-(Continued on page I SO) CTO MEN IN ALL STAGES OF PUBLIC OR PRIVATE LIFE, BILLIARDS OFFER THE IDEAL RELAXATION IN THEIR DAILY TASKS—THESE MEN ARE REALIZING THE SURE ROAD TO MENTAL AND PHYSICAL WELL-BEING. TRY IT AT W. C. BUNDE Eau Claire, Wisconsin one hundred forty-nine

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GUNDER THOMPSON COMPANY OPPOSITE EAU CLAIRE HOTEL Exclusive Ladies and Misses Ready - To - Wear We Specialize in Dance, Graduation, and Party Frocks EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN (Continued from page 147) part of his time sitting in an easy chair in the hall, exchanging time o'day with other patients who were getting their legs after a long time in bed But this winter Monstad has grown rapidly weaker, and now spends much of his time in bed. nursing a hacking cough, which somehow fails to leave him. and aware of a pain in his chest, which grows brcathtakingly sharp at times. Old Monstad is not deceived. He knows it is his turn to vacate a bed in 249. He thinks u great deal as he is lying there day in and day out. and his thoughts turn often toward those empty beds. They have not always been empty; once there were four old men together in 249. Old Luckcn went first He was lucky—a niece who had married well came and carried him off to live with her The three old men who were left often speculated on Luckcn s good fortune. Old Charlie Johnson was the next one to leave an empty bed in 249. Testy old Charlie, whose bulging eyes, bald head, and sagging cheeks reminded one irresistibly of a walrus Charlie, too. was active for a time, although he walked more slowly than Monstad. and tapped his way along with a cane Poor Charlie! He was not the best company, because of his irascibility, which grew on him with age. but you hated to see him go. He was quite well off. it was known, and when the bank closed in the great flurry of bank closing in 1931. old Charlie lost everything He was too old to recover from such a shock. He took to his bed. and in a few weeks there were only two old men in 249. As he turned it over in his mind, lying there with the pain in his side. Monstad wus glad that Baker was the last to go. Baker was the best company of the three who were gone. Age had mellowed and sweetened him, and he had always been one to think and do the right thing by his friends. For years the old man had gone around visiting the other patients in the hospital, cheering and comforting with simple, kindly voice. Two years before, though. Baker, too. had begun the downhill journey. He lay on his bed a great deal, and grew finicky about his food. Monstad saw the signs and knew in his heart that before many months he would be saying good-bye to Baker, but when Baker began refusing requests to sing, he was sure of it. It came suddenly and uuitc terribly. I3akcr had a stroke, and for a week he lay unconscious. Monstad hovered, a great deal, outside the door of the private room to which they had taken Baker when he was stricken, listening to his friends stentorian breathing, and now and then peering in at the pitiful face on the pillow. For weeks after Baker died. Monstad was very' quiet as he sat in his armchair in the hall. Then came the cough, and weakness, and at last Monstad realized that his turn had come. Sometimes be got into his clothes and shuffled out into the hall a bit. but he never sat in the arm chair now. Most of the time he spent lying in bed. looking at those three empty beds, and thinking—it was not a great while before there were four empty white beds in 249. Anon. Infinity A friend of mine once said that she was going to take a trip to infinity and see where all parallel lines meet. That started me to thinking, and I wondered just what the definition of infinity could be. From time to time you will hear students of higher mathematics speak glibly of infinity as the function of this or that. IIksc persons have, supposedly, delved deep into the intricate mysteries of calculus, trigonometry. geometry, algebra, and on and on into the subject of mathematics. Yet. if you ask one of these learned individuals for a definition of infinity you will get only vague, unsatisfactory answers. Infinity is an immeasurable quantity. 'Phere are no limits or bounds to the space, distance, or time that infinity expresses I conducted an experiment. I went to various of these so-called intelligent individuals and asked each one for his definition of the term I'he answers were as varied as the colors of the rainbow. Each one had an idea of the function, but was unable to state a clear, concise meaning. It was most amusing to sec these persons hesitate about something they so often used without a thought of a real interpretation of it. Once I figured out that infinity was equal to two. but that was a fallacy You can prove almost anything by fallacies, but you know that they are false. Someone in a Physics class asked what one less than infinity is. I suspected him of talking in his sleep. I think that I will never find infinity until I die. Then I probably shall not care about infinity. It is hard to think of space without an end. but harder yet to conceive of space with an end. K.J.M. COMFORTABLK ASSICNMKNT Mr. Slagg (after assigning a long outline for Biology Methods)—Make a list of at least 30 common weeds, tell where they are found, and describe each one briefly. Lavernc Kopplin (grumblingly)—Just like Miss James— a nice comfortable assignment. one hundred forty-eight

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AANES STUDIO PHOTOGRAPHS LIVE FOREVER PHONE 9731 Appointments Day or Night ONE RLOCK SOUTH AND ONE BLOCK EAST OF POSTOFFICE 708 SO. FARWELL ST. EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN (Continuedfrom page 149) ceding speech) Har-rr-rumph If there arc no more announcements. I should like to call a meeting of all the young ladies here in the auditorium right now. (Nodding to men students) You’re excused (One of the main attractions of this delightful little performance is the mental confusion of the audience as it tries to figure out what a girl would do who (1) was named Mary ' Somebody.” und so was to report to the office immediately after assembly. (2) was supposed to stay for the girls' meeting, (3) was one of those who was to report to Dr. Davenport's office immediately, etc., and (4) was a member of the W.A.A and was to have her picture taken immediately, etc., and (5) was a member of the debate squad, which was to meet in Mr. Donaldson's room immediately—you know the rest.) Can Animals Think? Can animals think’ 1 was asked. I went to the biologist. He said. “A starfish placed upon its back always uses the same two arms to right itself. When the two arms are incapacitated, the starfish learns, after one hundred and eighty trials, to right itself with the other arms Did the starfish think? Go to the psychologist.” he advised me, for he is more capable of judging this than I am. I went. Can animals think? I asked. He answered. l ogs dream. Isn't that thinking? All animals form images, and that's thought. Animals think concretely; but they form no concepts. To form concepts. which arc abstract ideas, applied to different situations. a language is needed Creatures have no lan- guage. and man has been unable to develop one for them; therefore they do not think abstractly as we do. That's what divides man from animals. However, some people claim animals have a language we can't understand He opened a book and read me the talk of the Elgcrfcld horses: Finally. Mr. Krall. noticing that horses tapped out of lessons. took down their tappings to sec if he could make anything out of them. Sure enough! Although the discourse was at times as incomprehensible as the first babblings of an infant, nevertheless there were fragments that could be understood. One day Krall told Muhamed that he was going to give him carrots: ‘Funuf (i.e., funf) replied Muhamed spontaneously. At another time he replied: 'lohn. hfr. gbn' (whann hafer geben —John gives oats) One morning when Zaril had shown himself lazy, his companion was asked. Warum was Zrif nicht licb’ and Muhamed answered. Weil vaul isd' (because he is lazy). ” 'And why is he lazy? 'Weil r sagt begin bwul nijd wisn' (because he said at the beginning that he didn s want to know anything). 1 went home thinking. I looked at my dog. With one paw uplifted, he glanced at me once and then would look no more. He knew I was staring at him; yet he would not risk a glance, but went on looking at the empty landscape. Do unimals think? J. O'D. J. Lange 1 know I'm not good looking, but what's my opinion against thousands of others'. WM. SAMUELSON DRY GOODS COMPANY EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN WE CARRY ONE OF THE LARGEST STOCKS OF DRY GOODS — READY-TO-WEAR — MILLINERY AND HOUSE FURNISHINGS IN NORTHWESTERN WIS. uiic hundred fifty