University of Texas Austin - Cactus Yearbook (Austin, TX)

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CShc Cactu-g t925l ' [A M- 1 « IT HALL-AMEHICAN fK)NiniNS TfAM capt. - N e ED ON HTMOi ?a?ER, - J-0 The large number of (k)nitters and the unusual quality of the (k)nitting done this year make the selection of an all-star team doubly hard. One player, however, has earned a place for all time — Miss Jane Seizer. Her hard consistent work is known to every true follower of the sport, and the technique of her daring drop stitches is in- comparable. Her experience brings her the position of captain. One other player is of such outstanding ability that little question will arise as to her inerits. Miss Patricia Sims lost no time in getting to work and was soon ahead of the field. Her second year slump, with a consequent check to her activities, is all that prevents her from making the all-time squad. Her distinctive uniform of lengthy plumes, rising above a stew-pot hat, have aided her greatly in her work. Her weight and speed have also contrib- uted to her success: sometimes she gets to going and can ' t even stop. Miss Roberta Welch, though a new-comer, has shown a large and consistent promise. As a signal caller she is without a peer, her voice carrying much further than the ordinary loud speaker. She uses her lusty lungs at all times and in all places. Miss Annejo Mattison, though handicapped by her pre-season ignorance of what constituted true (k)nitting and her perennial ignorance of everything else, soon showed marked ability, and it is predicted that another season will place her at the very top. Advancing age has somewhat daunted the spirit of Miss Lois Fender ' s work, but it has also brought her the knowledge that conies through experience. Her ability at making dirty remarks about popular girls has suffered none with the passing of time. One of the posts on this year ' s team is furnished by a transfer from S. M. U. Miss Jewel Waggoner, the .Ameri- can Underslung, as she is affectionately called by her chums, has in a short while shown such outstanding ability as to down all opposition. Miss Harriet Saint Guilham, while imdoubtedly a (k)nitter of the first water, lost some of her prestige by untimely withdrawal from competition. Some of her early plays such as running late dates on Steinhagen and other A. T. O. admirers are worthy of mention. Much is to be hoped for from this oungster. The substitute of the squad, and a past master at small time (k)nitting, is Miss Franchell Roberts. Although being unused to (k)nitting on a large scale Miss Roberts is fast developing a (k)nitting style which assures her a place on next year ' s squad. The place of Coach was well filled by Madame Harvey Eagleson, whose personality makes him a great favorite with the girls. Page jSS

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Cc hc Cietctw 19251 - 31 WHO S ZOO? DEAN BENEDICT. This person is probably unknown to some of less en- lightened freshmen and sophomores, as they are not there to witness his daily dispensation of piffle. Wise in his own conceit, this pious here- tic, this loyal turncoat — we speak in paradoxes, for this witless old man, who is a fool deliberately and from choice — has been once a heretic and twice a Christian, secure in the knowledge that to kow-tow to our God-fearing Board of Regents is to sit tight in the place of prominence which his inanity never entitled him to, and which his insipid dribbling of child wit has made ridiculous. His betrayal of his faith once, and his profession of a lack of it twice, has done nothing for him, and he has not even remaining the respect which the intelligent give to one who fights for his convictions. LUCY JOSEPHINE NEWTON, erstwhile Dean of Women. The joy at the news of her resignation was short-lived. Following it came an announce- ment that Miss Newton was investigating the A. T. 0. dance, that Miss N ewton was investigating the university in sections, and that as a re- sult of these investigations there were to be no more costume parties allowed. It is not long now until we shall read a contribution to lit- erature by Miss Newton on the subject — Clothes and Morality. What an immoral group of persons the track squad must be! One item will serve to give evidence of the many reformations in Miss Newton ' s administra- tion — Steve Gardner will not be allowed to play for any of the dances around the university as he was heard by Miss Newton to refer to one of the instruments in his orchestra as a sexophone. HANSON TUFTS PARLIN. The U. S. is full of foreigners. He is the little fellow, who sits neatly before a paper-belittered desk, in an of- fice with all the privacy of a public square, the while he tells you in a loud voice that you should be ashamed of yourself, that you are a dis- credit to the school, and that he can not upset his precedent of having always been fair to everyone. He may be noted to cast glances to the sides of the room to see what effect his mimeographed remarks are having on his stenographer and secretary, both of whom enjoy every word of his speech immensely, we are sure, having heard it no less than eight times a day during the last six years. The denouement comes — after he has worked himself into a frenzy of self-justification — with the words, I ' m sorry, but you ' ll have to withdraw. This righteous fellow has perhaps forgotten by now the Beautiful Peggy McCracken, who stayed in school four years without ever taking an exam, due to the fact that she had the Pappa Parlin Down. It is also interesting to know that when Hanson had a date with Peggy, she would call the Zetas and their dates over, to hide in the bushes by Randolph ' s porch-swing and listen to the Dean ' s sophomoric love-making. The Dean is not averse to becoming slightly oiled when he makes his annual trip into the damp and cloying tropics.