University of Michigan - Michiganensian Yearbook (Ann Arbor, MI)

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A, LAU HOMSON says he wouldn ' t have done it if he hadn ' t thought that Stevens and Baker could stand a joke. Stevens and Baker aren ' t saying anything. These three gentlemen all room at Mrs. Smith ' s on Division street. Thomson rooms alone in a side suite and Baker and Stevens occupy the one in front together. It has been Thomson ' s habit after each meal to spend some time in the front suite talking over the burning questions with the other two gentlemen. Thomson always enjoyed these discussions exceedingly because Stevens had very good judgment and the finest tobacco to be had in town. However, these post-prandial meetings have been discontinued sine die. It all happened this way. The Saturday of spring vacation, immediately after breakfast, they had all repaired to the front suite as usual. Stevens was in unusually good spirits, as his father had just sent him a box of Havanas. It isn ' t every man ' s governor that is good fellow enough to do that, at least so Thomson said, and he seemed to have some information on this point. The three were sitting with their feet elevated on Mrs. Smith ' s table and were puffing away contentedly, when Stevens chanced to glance out of the window. There conies that vampire of a laundryman out collecting. He ' ll be up here next, confound him. I can stand washwomen, but laundrymen there I draw the line. I should think it would be more reasonable to draw the line for washer- women, observed Baker. Thomson The worst I ever. Stevens Can ' t you diagram that for us, Baker. Well, the tempus is fugiting. We can ' t stand the fellow off any longer. What ' ll we do to get rid of him? 1 think I know a scheme that would prove efficacious, Baker piped up, evidently having recovered from his squelch. What ' s that? We might pay him. Sir, if you have any suggestion worthy of the attention and thoughtful consideration of serious and earnest people make it, but do not continue to use up our patience with vain triflings. Baker Reminds me of Cicero and my high school days.

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Sam ' s Bundle, HAM MOTTER started from his room on Munroe to the Phi Delta Phi house the other day carrying a bundle under his arm. He had just began the descent of the hill on S. State, when he met his half-winded frat brothers, who to a man demanded his company on a little serenading expedition they had in mind. The added charm of Sam ' s voice was just what they wanted. But this bundle, Sam complained. What ' s in your bundle? one asked. Never you mind what ' s in it? Oh, bother the bundle Sam, but come along. At last he was persuaded and bundle and Sam V joined in the little excursion. Now the K A S house was not far distant and as the boy ' s voices were in good trim, of course it was not long until they were asked in. Sam laid his bundle on the porch beside the door. The Phi Delta Phi dog was along that night, belated to br ] sure for he ' d stopped in at the Gamma Phis ' to eat their cat, am seeing Sam ' s bundle there, picked it up, not very carefully, an darted in the half-open doorway strewing Sam ' s laundry across tin parlor floor. Of course the socks and and well there was considerable consternation on all sides. The Germ ' s Vow and the Germ ' s rote. BY C. M. li. LITTLE GERM sat on a pretty girl ' s lip, Woe to the man who dares take a sip ; But that night in the parlor, With the folks sitting near The dire deed was done, And so much without fear, So gently and sweet; So quickly and bold; So very smooth That the germ lost its hold, Slipped from its resting place And died of a cold.

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Here fellows, Thomson broke in, I ' ve got just the thing. You fellows hide in the closet and when he comes I ' ll tell him you ' ve gone to breakfast. I hate to break off a pleasant smoke for a blood-sucking laundryman. You needn ' t. Take your cigars in with you. Of course the closet is small, but it won ' t last but a second. When the vampire knocked, Thomson was alone in the room engulfed in a newspaper. Good morning, Mr. Stevens? Sorry, old man, but they ' ve both gone to breakfast. Back soon? I think not. They said they were going up to the library. The sovereign of the shirt glanced suspiciously at the three hats on the table but said nothing. Just then a wicked thought came into Thomson ' s mind. Say, old man, what do you think of this Philippine question? That settled it. The old man had evidently done a good deal of think- ing on this question, for when he wound up at the end of an hour and a half with a glowing peroration on what Grover Cleveland would have done, a thin line of smoke was beginning to issue from the closet key-hole, and even Thomson was sorry he had spoken. When the orator rose to go, Thomson said he guessed he ' d better go with him. He had barely closed the door of the room when he heard another door open. He is buying his own tobacco now. H. C. T. The Quelling of the Professor. j|HE French class was particularly stupid that dreamy spring day and conse- quently the professor, a much feared man, was especially irritable. Never gince his coming to the university had any student or body of students been able to get the better of him or answer him back effectively. But today the boys on the back seat were unusually reckless and suddenly one youth yawned audibly. The professor started to his feet with indignation. Zie back seat may go out into ziehall! he shouted. The boys looked puzzled for a moment; then a gleam of mischief sparkled in their eyes. They rose, picked up the bench, and carried it into the hall. The professor sank into his chair; he was overcome at last.