University of California Berkeley - Blue and Gold Yearbook (Berkeley, CA)

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154 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA Cleo. Good fellow, pause right where you are ! I have no time to-day to give An hour or two to hear you talk. I do not want to hear about Your crabs, or bugs, or rhizopods. So haste, and bring to me a snake Or I will squelch thee, by the Gods ! Rivers. What wouldst thou do if I refuse 1 Cleo. I ' ll tell your wife you mash the girls. Rivers. I ' ll do as you desire. Behold, I go ! (Exit Rivers.) Cleo. I wish my Charmian were by my side, But she has gone to get a longer dress: Ah Rivers, back again ! (Re-enter Rivers.) Rivers. My lady, I Have brought a creepy-crawley wretch, A sleeky, slippery, slimy snake. One that will make a shudder pass Adown your back, to look upon. Its name is if I don ' t mistake The snakus aquce, water snake. Cleo. Then give it to me and begone. (Takes snake. Exit Rivers.) (To the snake.) Come thou horrid, scaly creature, Emblem of my every teacher, Kiss these lips that used to hover, Near the moustache of my lover. ' ' With thy sharp teeth this knot intrmsicate Of life at once untie ! O couldst thou speak That I might hear thee call great Csesar Ou-u-u- (Cleopatra yawns. The snake jumps down her throat. She gives a piercing shriek. Enter Ccesar Smith. ) Ccesar. Thank Heaven ! I came not a moment too soon To do for this dame an unspeakable boon. (Grabs tail of snake just as it is disappearing, draws the -writhing reptile forth, and chucks it to the floor. ) Cleo. O sir, 1 thank you so For what you ' ve done for me ! I should have died, I know, That I, myself, can see. Cmsar. Yes Miss ; for if that snake Should in your stomach crawl,

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THE BLUE AND GOLD 153 O ' errun with bile the glucose of my spleen, And twist my stomach as a kitchen mop. (Looks in the glass.) What, not yet dead ! how can it be 1 The pain continues but the dose was small. Methinks the poison has been neutralized By potent juices from my beastly gall. The Fates forbid that I should die. So I will go and pack up my valise. To Berkeley then, eternally Good bye ! From all thy cares I now will find release. (Exit) SCENE VII. Ladies, Room, South Hall. Cleo. O woe the day that I that paper rolled And gently laid it on my bureau there ! Woe that it should get mixed with those that hold The curling tresses of my sable hair ! (Enter Mardian. ) Mard. Mistress, I have done as thou desired, And told thy Antony that thou wert dead. He acted in a way that made me tired, And also made me wish to punch his head. I left, and came direct to find you here, Except I stopped to play a game of pool, When news was brought me that your lover dear Had suicided like a measly fool. Cleo. Dead ! dead !! O can it be That Antony ' s expired ? That I no more shall see T he man I so admired ? I never knew his love Till Dr. Sternberg ' s lecture, When all the room was dark The rest you can conjecture. Life has no charms for me I ' d welcome Death ' s cold shivers ; It comes, and I am free ! (Calling. ) Rivers ! Rivers ! ! Rivers ! ! ! (Enter Rivers.) Rivers. Who calls me name ! speak quick, I pray ! Ah ! was it you ? As I was a

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THE BLUE AND GOLD 155 Cko. Ccesar. He ' d feast upon the mucous coat That lines its inner wall. And that would bring about Beyond all doubt or question, Before the month was out Your death from indigestion. It gave the greatest bliss To save you from that fate, Now will it be amiss If I on love dilate ? You see, to speak to thee I ' ve never had the spunk. Could only mark a three Whene ' er you made a flunk, In order thus to show The love I bore for you. Or, if you got a cinch I ' d always let you through. I long have wished a chance, And now the chance has grown, Will you my bliss enhance And take me for your own I worthy Tutor, you have saved my life, 1 owe to you a debt I can ' t repay ; But if you wish me, I will be your wife. Then we are one until the Judgment Day. This long love-tale by which I ' ve won your hand, Methinks needs not a long elucidation ; It plainly shows the charms, the beauties, and The mysteries that mark Co-education. THE END.