Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine - Synapsis Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

Page 67 text:

-v O r» Xl 1 1 1 1 1 I 1 1 1 1 1 1 U I l-mr-fT ■! 1 1 ig c;i Qlass Prophecy F,o , u EING the duly elected Prophet for the Class of ' 28, it behooves me to start propheting. Other prophets of years gone by have blamed their prophecies on a snifF of ether, a bad dream, a bottle of booze or a bump on the head. But as a real, live, up-to-date Prophet I intend to show the wide world just what pikers old chaps like Moses were by making a prophecy without the use of stimulants or without growing a crop of face foliage. When the year 1948 rolls around I expect the following newspaper clippings about members of my Class. Believe it or not, this is my Prophecy: In the Bethlehetn (Pa.) Blabber — Dr. Richard Ammerman, a very enterprising young Osteopath, has invented a new handle for Dr. Miller ' s lymphatic pump. The new handle reduces labor and so will probably be used by Obstetricians also. In the Maritzbiirg (South Africa) Gazette — Dr. Beryl Arbuckle has opened her customary winter clinic for the purpose of relieving any savages suffering with chilblains. In the Philadelphia Dust — Drs. Irving Baker, Harry Hessdorfer and Irma Minch have been undergoing great personal sacrifice in the interest of science at the Osteopathic Research Institute. They are making numerous experiments to determine just where the jellyfish gets his jelly. Two days later in the Dust — Drs. Morton Engel and Harold Miller, largely thru experiments confined to the bath tub, are ready to answer the question raised by their colleagues at the Research Institute. These two mighty men of science can prove that the jellyfish gets his jelly from the ocean currents. In the Leu ' iston (Me.) S»i! — Dr. James A. Clark is heartily in favor of adding one hundred yards of cement to the State road. This proposition would make the road three hundred yards long and one of the finest in the State — as far as it goes. Dr. Clark also wishes to announce that he has no further use for milk bottles. In the Lorraine (Ohio) Bioik — Dr. Geo. James, the elongated Osteopath, was struck in the right orb while playing baseball with his children. Henceforth the children will be more careful with their father ' s orbs. In the Carbondale (Pa.) Slinger — Drs. Wm. Perkins and Sydney Cook have signed a petition never to go thru their patients ' pockets in the future. Each will hire an assistant to do the dirty work. ' Tis the patient who pays — and pays! In the Holmesburg (Pa.) Monthly — Dr. Wm. Daiber will attempt to convince Philadelphians in a lecture this evening that Philadelphia could be made fit to live in. Dr. Daiber has some Antiseptic Powders to illustrate his lecture. In the Bridgeton (N. J.) News — Dr. Irvin Atkinson, of this hamlet, has just returned from the National Osteopathic Convention held in New York City. He learned some new technic and is very busy explaining to his wife just how a pair of silk stockings happened to be in his coat pocket. In the Neu York City Herald — Dr. Samuel Bailey has started a Health Farm for underfed stage folk. All will receive Osteopathic manipulations, while Dr. Geo. Sullivan

Page 66 text:

m Q)99. Anna Sollenberger Johnson Secretary Walter Spill Treasurer Senior Class Ojficers Herbert E. C. Ulrich Vice-President [62]

Page 68 text:

I m ftll4 M will teach the rudiments of basketball to the inrnates, so they have a reliable trade to fall back on when they are cured. A series of items from the Syracuse (N. Y.) Blab — Dr. Harold Galbraith advises the younger generation not to go for buggy rides as experience has taught him that horses carry tales (tails). Drs. Stewart Francis and William Howes visited the business section today and each one invested in a new sky-piece. We may now expect rainy weather. Dr. Judson Johnston left Syracuse today with Mrs. Johnston and eight of their children for an extended stay in Philadelphia, where Dr. Johnston will study Pediatrics. The remaining six children will look after the house during the absence of their parents. Dr. Frederick Harter has cultivated his voice to such an extent that noon-day whistles are now a thing of the past in Syracuse as long as Dr. Harter remains active. In the Fraiiklinville (N. Y.) Hortt — Dr. Geo. Gould has just left for his eighth tour of the world. Nobody saw him when he left and nobody will see him when he returns, but everybody is sure he has gone. In the Trevorton (Pa.) Deiitscher — Dr. Harvey Haupt, the eminent surgeon, can remove the broadest brogue of the afflicted by a very radical operation. This is known only to Dr. Haupt, so there can be no argument. In the Lancaster (Pa.) Toot — Dr. Alice Swift talked to the Ladies ' Auxiliary of the Civic Welware League on a very timely topic — the Old Doctor, Himself. Dr. Swift shook everybody ' s hand afterward and the strain was too great for her frail constitution, so Dr. Wm. Wright was called in to render first aid. Very luckily Dr. Wright had just returned from a hunting trip and was home when the call came. In the ]ohnstown (Pa.) Flood — Dr. Roy Hughes today put his competitor, Dr. John Warren, out of business with a well-aimed brick. Dr. Hughes is in sole command of all Osteopathic fields until Dr. Warren recovers and again enters competition. In the Petrograd (Russia) Kazynski — Drs. Jean and Vladim ir de Tilleman, after educating nobility to Osteopathy, will attempt to pass a law recognizing their profession in Russia. However, not much will be done until the price of bombs come down and then we may expect to see some action. In the P. C. O. Axone — The active chapter of the Iota Tau Sigma Fraternity wel- comes the following passive members: Dr. Herbert Talmage, Dr. Wallace Fish, Dr. John McNeils and Dr. Conrad Maulfair. All four members gave a demonstration on how Bridge should be played. They are doing well in practice but are married. In the Albany (N. Y.) Daily — Dr. Gladys Smiley wishes to announce that, due to the scarcity of Osteopaths in this part of the country and the consequent demands made upon her for service, the price for an office call will be raised from $1.40 to $1.50 — with time and a half for overtime. In the Southampton (N. Y.) Bump — Dr. Winston Jennings has opened his sum- mer office on the highway opposite the Country Club. He will take care of patients between putts. In the Philadelphia (Pa.) Pill — Dr. Reid Laughton will do no more charity work in the future. The price of butter is so high in Upper Darby and he has so many mouths to feed that he is forced to start keeping books. Dr. Florence Cargill has opened a new office in the basement of Child ' s Restaurant. The new office is filled with indigestibles daily. Dr. Cargill does most of her work with a stomach pump or an enema bag. The President of the United States entered Philadelphia today at 9-30 A. M. By 9.25 A. M. Dr. John Bradford had an Atlas Club pledge button on his coat lapel. Dr. Bradford is waiting for the time when Gabriel blows his horn so he can rush St. Peter. [64]