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Page 140 text:
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be cPlgawcisie She: I am shock oil at your con- duct. Ho: Will you soo I am an elec- trician.” 1 sec your triend Mabel is in town. Oh my gosh. 'Smarter. guilty conscience? “No but I wish 1 did have. LaVerne Pierce is wearing a letter. 1 sec. Yeah. she got it tor imi in . Patty Patootsie met Olin Lundav on the titird floor of the main building and informs him pointing to a certain door. Patty: .Mr. Tarney teaches there. Do you know Mr. Tarney? Olin: “’Er—why no. I don't. Patty: (complacently): Well, Mr. Tarney is the man who lives with Mrs. Tarney. With love tonight. Vour eyes arc bright Is it not so love? You faint and sigh For love youM die Is it not so love? And to-morrow night Your eyes will be bright Is it not so love? Hut on another's knee You will be Is it not so love? J lie one man in the world who I truly envy is the man who has got the gout. New College Yells Where is the live you owe me? Feed the kitty you dumhell. Who in Hell ran off with my overcoat. Page 122
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Page 139 text:
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he cj gawasie ADVICK FOR NKW STUDKNTS By .Mi-i.vi.v Nki.son To properly explain all the little- tricks, and the hi ones also, that a person learns while in school would ill volumes. I shall attempt to summarize a few choice hits of advice that will serve the new student very well. Only with constant practice and diligent concentration can a person really become proficient and original in that epoch of life which is known as “college days. I his advice is for newcomers at school and is not intended for old dyed-in-the-wool students. When you first enter school go to the main building, and ask the first person you see where the Prexy is. Of course they won't know, ami after you have asked perhaps a dozen people someone will eventually understand that you wish to confer with Riley. After a conference in which you explain how lucky he is that you entered school, go to the registrar, and pay for as much board and room as you can afford. Try to avoid paying anything if possible. Register. This is a secondary matter. Go over to the men's dormitory and yell for Tarney. Tell him who you are. and tell him you want to stay in room 202. Of course this is spoken for. and when he puts you in a little hovel on the third floor, grumble and curse and never make your bed. That is the way you can get even with the Dean of Men. Raise as much fuss as possible! This last advice is important. Now as to regulations and living conditions. One very stringent rule i' always enforced. That is. everyone must he home in time for breakfast, ami the last one in must turn off the hall light. Always obey this rule. Another rule that is well to follow is the one in regard to cleaning your room. Rooms must he swept once a month, and pillow-cases should he changed at Christmas and Raster. It the occupants of the year before scrubbed out. you will not have to. Remember, always be clean and neat! Cigarette butts on the floor are not tolerated. Throw them behind the radiator. Social duties are very heavy for freshmen. The school holds dances about every month in the gymnasium and there are dances everv week at the Hog Rastle where music is furnished hv the Swinelu-rder’s Imperial Four. If you can't find the Hog Rastle ask for the Cindcralla Gardens. It's the same place. Always attend these school functions and if possible get drunk! People will then think you are a nian-of-the-world. Spend plenty of money, hut make out your check for such items as broken windows, etc. He gay! He careful! Try uit for all the athletic teams. Come out two nights and it the Coach doesn't place you on the tirst team, quit! Then tell everyone how you have been mistreated and coach is down on ya. etc. It adds to the school -.pirit. If possible swipe a sweat shirt or similar athletic equipment. The school can afford to buy more. Ktiquette is necessary when eating at Hurch Hall. 1 shall summaiizc a lew of the more stringent rules. Always rush down the stairs. If you don’t you wont get anything to cat. Always get all you can eat. never think of anyone else. Never pass anything to anyone. I.et them reach for it and if they do stick them with a knife. Always hr careful! I heard ol a fellow who had both of his hands cut ott that way. Never eat with your knife. You may cut your mouth. Always take your spoon out of your coffee or you might poke your eye out. He gav. make lots of noise: oral at the waiters, and at the grub! It makes the scene more enjoyable. Axel (making an after-dinner speech): In the first place 1 want to say that the food was pretty good, what there was of it— lie gets embarrassed and starts again: That wasn't what I meant. I meant to say that there was plenty of food, such as it w as. Page 1
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