Macalester College - Quid Nunc Yearbook (St Paul, MN)

Page 123 text:

J OIIFINGS FROM EDVVARDS' SHORTER EDITION. Believe me, Edwards at the noon hour is just about as interesting as taking in a boiler factory. Why, do you know, that when that aggrega- tion of fellows, with Roseau Pete at the head, get started to Hnish the Heats in seven minutes and forty-two seconds, the double action move- ments of their arms and jaws make the Dutch wind mills in a hurricane look like a mud turtle crawling up a hill. It is simply marvelous how they can handle a knife and a fork at the rate of 60 trips a minute, and at the same time keep a glass of water in the air and heading for the same terminals eight times a minute. And then the conversation. I'll wager my meal ticket against an Ohde chip that Hugh Jennings of the Tigers, would give Graue 34,000 a year to have him coach on the side lines. Why, they talk on everything from Bryan by Tully to Bill Phillips asking plaintively if there is any chance for him to get on the ball team. I once knew a mule driver, a Civil VVar veteran, who was the most versa- tile personage I ever knew, but do you know that he would be lost in the confusion of conversation and the multiplicity of subjects handled there pro and con. Jack London could get pointers on the Call of the W'ild there that would win him everlasting fame. But with all their Barney Oldfield speed, their calliope conversation and their Arctic Circle manners they are human and of a mighty good sort. 115

Page 122 text:

IN'l'ERES'l'lNG RELICS FOUND IN RUINS. xY0l'klll6ll Unearth Scientific Treasure ill Midway. What was at first thought to be a rune-stone of unique shape was discovered this morning by laborers, working on the foundations of the gymnasium at Macalester College. Upon clcse examination, however, it was found to be a phonograph record of the early twentieth century. After having been carefully cleaned it was placed on the phonograph in the col- lege museum, and our reporter has secured permission to publish what was heard. The little group of men gathered around the queer old machine felt that they were transported back Hve centuries as Prof, Brooks set the machinery in motion. First a voice was heard saying, A Record of the Conversation of the Uta-Ota Club. Elliphone patent. Soon another voice said lNlr. Heed, will you please return thanks. Mr. Heed, whoever he may have been replied, Umph-at-a-ahem, a-er- um. Amen. Confused noises of furniture being moved and china passed followed this, also the murmur of many voices. Soon one was heard above the rest asking, How do they get the water into the watermelon? They planted the seed in the spring shouted a voice, and immediately an uproar arose with shouts and cries of Let's paddle Achesonf' But order was soon restored. Then another voice asked, How would that do it? I can't see the joke. 'fNever mind Cardle, you will next week. Thanks Stock, you'll know it by that time, won't you. Then another voice was heard cackling like a hen. What's the mat- ter with Hamblin, Carson? some one asked. 'tOh, he's only using fowl language over Pat's bum jokes. Please pass the quiet white. Cries oi pain and rage followed this and a voice was heard Oh, don't mind Jesse, he's a mental bankrupt. So are you Ellisonn some one said, in reply, Well, anyhow, I didn't put it in my wife's name, Dean. You wouldn't have drawn any interest if you hadf' But I had the principle, Carson. t'Now laugh! Shimian, laugh! The record was badly chipped here, but soon after the words became audible again. Say, Homer, did you know Evert was taking medicine at the 'UI' No, Fisher, what about it? That is a stiff course. The sound now heard was that of the scraping of chairs on the floor intermingled with the babel of a three-cornered conversation between the voices of Stock, Hamblin and Horne, a sound which continued to the very end of the record. 114

Page 124 text:

'I' HE ST U I IENTS I 'UUNCI L. William J. Bell.. . ...... President Leland W. Porter ...... .. .Vice President Dean A. W. Anderson ........................ Secretary The Students Council is the center of Student Government at Macal- ester. This idea has gained much since it was begun with the organiza- tion of the Council three years ago. It was suggested by Dr. Hodgman to give more opportunity for student suggestion and co-operation in the mat- ters of student interest and the school advancement, and has been given loyal support and accomplished much during its two years history. The Council has no authority but is a mere advisory body, giving its time and help to any good thing for Macalester which may be brought before it. There are ten members of the Council, one from each of the college classes, two members representing the odd and even year academy classes, and three members from the faculty with the President of the Col- lege. It is a common ground where student body and faculty come together in suggestion and help and always working for the betterment and advance of the common cause, Macalester and her growth. ll6