Macalester College - Quid Nunc Yearbook (St Paul, MN)

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BRl1lAKI+'AS'l', ETC., AT WALLACE HALL. Elizabeth T.--O, girls, isn't it perfectly grand this morning! I wish I had time to go for a walk. Wouldn't you like to go after Y. W. this afternoon, Grace? Grace MCC.-I have to tend telephone this afternoon. How did you like the show last night, Pat? Louise P.w-Fine! The costumes were simply grand, my dear. I thought you were going, Audrey. Audrey M.-Couldn't. Had to study. I studied till 1 o'clock last night. W'e have a Hnal in Poly Con today. 4 Mabel C.-VVhat do you think he'll ask us, anyway? Do you know what a market is? You don't suppose he'd ask us that, any way do you? Really, do you? Say, girls, do you think I ought to go home? NVhy? O, I don't know, I am going to phone home this morning. . Gladys L. fcoming in latej-Excuse me, please. XVe get less time every morning. Only ten minutes between the first two bells, and I don't believe there were five between the last two. Itfs hard to hurry, anywa.y, while anticipating pan-cakes as a reward. Did you hear that cat yowling last night? Louise P.fDid I? Now, that you speak of it, I believe I did hear a faint noise in the distance. If it weren't for that cat and the bells, I should rather enjoy Wallace Hall. Grace MCC.-Do you know, girls, that cat reminds me of my Aunt Lindy. One night when I got home from a party, why4 Luella M.-I think you told us about that before, Grace. That cat skairt me nearly to death when I came in last night. I wish I had my psychology. My, but I had a good time last night! lf Prof. Andy only wouldn't make us stand up to recite! Eliz. T.fO, that was you who came in so late last night! I heard some one come in. It must have been after midnight. Won't you have some more pan-cakes, girls? Audrey. won't you? Audrey M.-No, I am not hungry. I was up late to a spread last night. O, no! I was studying! I forgot. Mabel C.-Let's see if we can't be the first table to get through this morning. I don't believe anybody wants any more. Grace McC.-Elizabeth, may l be excused to go and clean my room? The inspectors are coming today. I washed my curtains, but they look funny. I forgot the starchg I wonder if that's why. I'm going to cut French, too. I must! Louise P.-Well, Gladys, what are you laughing at now? Gladys L.-Didn't you see Grace? She ran into Anna Anderson. Anna is just coming down. Eliz. T.-O, girls, I must tell you about the dream I had last night! I thought I was at home and-0, welre all ready to go aren't we? If you'l1 remind me, I'll finish my dream this noon. 113

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TH E MEAL MANGLERS. Stage Setting-fCenterJ Chief, Matron, fgridi Iron Duke, Deacons and other dignitaries. tLeftJ the rabble. fRight backl Matteson's Kindergarten, in charge of Tilly, the nurse maid. fRight fronti Seniors, Sophs., and the trained Camtpbiell. Time: Grub time. Place: Eutrophian Dining Hall. ' Act I. Scene I. fOpening chorus by the kindergarten childrenzb Prunes, prunes, prunes, I wish their color would fade. Prunes, prunes, prunes, why were they ever made? Prunes, prunes, prunes, at morning, night, and noon. We'd rather have some pumpkin pie than prunes, prunes, prunes. Ding Dong'-Grandad Chase had his bass-viol apart today and took out a rib. Chuck-I suppose he is going to make a wife out of it. The Bohunk-A base joke. The Camel--A vile joke. The SWanfOh Fiddle! Pete flocking up from his lute-iiskle-Did somebody spring a yoke? Base-vile4Bass-viol,-iiiddle-let me see-eTol Ho! Pun! Yoke! First kindergarten student Cin a stage whisperJfDid you hear that? VileABass-violg that was a good one! Deacon No. 1 tentering with a mountain of bread, which he places on the kindergarten tableJ4Maybe that will last you awhile. 1'll back this bunch in an eating contest against any two tables on the campus. The Camel tto the Swanj-Will you please take your feet out of my lap? Pete4Yes, and get your elbow out of my eye. The SwanfMy elbow isn't in your eye, what is the matter with you? Pete apologeticallyj-Don't get madg let's be friends. Red1Well, wake up and pass the butter. tKnife and fork chorus interrupted by cries of, Pass the dried horse, Dish the smear, and Shoot me a piece of 'punk,' from the rabble.D Ding Dong fdeclamatory forcej--Don't forget Y. M. C. A. tonight. Chief-Club bills will be out tomorrow. Red-Skating tonight at the rink. The Bohunk-Calithumpians at nine-thirty. tKindergarten children look frightened and exeunt hastily.J Deacon fbringing in the hearseb-Are you fellows going to eat all night? I want to gather up the dead ones. Voice from the rabble-Here! That is my tooth-pick. Second voice-'Taint neither, it's the company pick. Third voice-Take your old tooth-pick and give me mine. I left it right here this noon. fSlow music and quick curtain.J O. R. T., '12, 112

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IN'l'ERES'l'lNG RELICS FOUND IN RUINS. xY0l'klll6ll Unearth Scientific Treasure ill Midway. What was at first thought to be a rune-stone of unique shape was discovered this morning by laborers, working on the foundations of the gymnasium at Macalester College. Upon clcse examination, however, it was found to be a phonograph record of the early twentieth century. After having been carefully cleaned it was placed on the phonograph in the col- lege museum, and our reporter has secured permission to publish what was heard. The little group of men gathered around the queer old machine felt that they were transported back Hve centuries as Prof, Brooks set the machinery in motion. First a voice was heard saying, A Record of the Conversation of the Uta-Ota Club. Elliphone patent. Soon another voice said lNlr. Heed, will you please return thanks. Mr. Heed, whoever he may have been replied, Umph-at-a-ahem, a-er- um. Amen. Confused noises of furniture being moved and china passed followed this, also the murmur of many voices. Soon one was heard above the rest asking, How do they get the water into the watermelon? They planted the seed in the spring shouted a voice, and immediately an uproar arose with shouts and cries of Let's paddle Achesonf' But order was soon restored. Then another voice asked, How would that do it? I can't see the joke. 'fNever mind Cardle, you will next week. Thanks Stock, you'll know it by that time, won't you. Then another voice was heard cackling like a hen. What's the mat- ter with Hamblin, Carson? some one asked. 'tOh, he's only using fowl language over Pat's bum jokes. Please pass the quiet white. Cries oi pain and rage followed this and a voice was heard Oh, don't mind Jesse, he's a mental bankrupt. So are you Ellisonn some one said, in reply, Well, anyhow, I didn't put it in my wife's name, Dean. You wouldn't have drawn any interest if you hadf' But I had the principle, Carson. t'Now laugh! Shimian, laugh! The record was badly chipped here, but soon after the words became audible again. Say, Homer, did you know Evert was taking medicine at the 'UI' No, Fisher, what about it? That is a stiff course. The sound now heard was that of the scraping of chairs on the floor intermingled with the babel of a three-cornered conversation between the voices of Stock, Hamblin and Horne, a sound which continued to the very end of the record. 114