Loras College - Purgold Yearbook (Dubuque, IA)

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e A.Fe W[isi]Lii ileFsioo(tl By A Junior Ti 1 rHOL’GII re(|uestecl to give tlie Seniors a bit of parting advice we concluded, after much weiglity deliberation and observation, that such might be traditionally disregarded, if given in a ]K)sitive manner. I lence we decided that by calling attention to a few of the outstanding blunders of cer¬ tain men you might be thus ins|)ired to try mending your ways in the future. As your under brothers we have known your every word and deed. We might even go so far as to say that we have a good idea of your thoughts,— i f any! It is a matter of common knowledge that your “big shots”—Bafferty, Ka])ler, and lAltes—had their physiognomical likenesses on display on Main street, with the nearby appropriate (?) comment. Make Her Happy. Such conceited creatures. Everyone is talking about you. Please don’t slij) like that again after you get out where there’s no one to take your side for you. As a whole you fellows did not adai)t yourselves to the varying circum¬ stances of your Senior year. We could state many examples, but space will per¬ mit merely a few. A certain Kress (not water—) once betrayed the most colossal ignorance of the ])recepts of liaiily Post, when, in referring to the little containers used to |)rotect furniture from moist glass ware, he said: “Hon’t mind the ash trays. Mrs.-. ' Phose fellows have their glasses in them!’’ Plea.se do not tefl this around though, as he would not wish people to know that his culinarv knowledge was .so limited. We would likewise advi.se the individual not to indulge in somersaults, as they have a weakening effect upon ones .sen.se ot direction, (up and down). W e had alwavs held Perion u|) as an ideal, but he. also, in the words of Shakespeare turned out to be a foul ball. Ft is rumored that he developed a strange allinity for toilet preparations, while on the choir tour. Latest reports also have it that he has been reading bologna magazines in an effort to become more familiar with the meat business. As soon as “Dick ” Carberrv gets around to read this we want to be out ot town. P)Ut. nevertheless, we must warn said person never again to say that the mind can attend to onlv hve or six things at one time. ” l y all means do not add insult to injury by retorting, “1 don’t see how it can attend to more!’’ WA would like to ask Paul Maguire to s])end a few years in London to facilitate the gathering of local color for his morbid literary efforts. Why London. ' ' Well, he insists that thev were laid in London on a “damp, foggy night.” on lellows will, of course, organize an . lumni branch. It will have to be a special ’2 ) group, because ()U are realK ' too good to be numbered among the ordinary . lumni. ’ou will admit this yourselves if sufficiently i)resse(l. Xow. tor the good of that orgc ' uiization we implore you, on bended knee, not to place ince Conlon on the invitation committee, l ie invites |)eople without the sliglitest provocation. Let him be on the entertainment committee, and he’ll render Ramona, ()ne .llune, . hirie, l e:um(fe, ( ' onnemara Slnn-e, and [ ' tear Little Shamrock, over vour dead bodies. Paye I ' M