Janesville High School - Phoenix Yearbook (Janesville, WI)

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I -PHOEH p -5 , JOKES Sticking the woxnen's dress he had just bought under his arm, the male shopper started for the door. b Hey, mister, you didn't pay for that gown, called the clerk. I ain't swipin' it, replied the customer snappily. My wife told me to get 'sky 4blue,' and I'm just taking it outside to see if it matches. 'Doesn't it strike you that's a queer-shaped harp that new woman-angel is lugging around1 asked St. Peter with a perplexed frown. That isn't a harp, tha.t's a radio set, an- swered Gabriel, with a pitying look at his superior. She's enjoying her husband 's howls from Station HLL. What a splendid fit, said the tailor, as they carried the epileptic out of his shop. Of all the sad surprises There 's nothing to compare With treading in the darkness On a step that isn't there. THE FLATTER THE-PLATE THE FEWER THE SOUP! Lady- Never heard of the Ten Command- ments, little boy! But where have you been all these years? What is your name? Little boy-- Moses, Mum. A drunken man was staggering down the street with two suspicious looking packages un- der his arms when he niet a policeman. What are you carrying under your arm! he asked him. Under one arm I have granulated sugar for my coffee, and under the other one, powdered sugar for my tea, answered the drunkard. Policeman, hitting him on the head with his club, Yes, and there's a lump for your cocoa. Erhardt: Did the doctor remove your ap- pendix? Marjory E.: Feels to me like ho removed my whole table of contents. J udge: drunk ? ' But how do you know he was 1 Jones: He was arguing with his wife on a street eorner. Judge: That doesn't prove he was drunk, does it? Jones: No, but you sec, his wife wasn't there at alll' What 's a orator, Rastusln Don't you know? replied Rastus in sur- prise. Well, I'll tell you what a orator is. lf you was to walk up to a ordinary pusson and ask him how much was two and two, he'd say 'four,' but when you ask one of us orators how much is two and two, he'd say 'When in de course of human events it becomes necessary to take de numeral of de second denomination and add it to de figger 2, I says unto you, and I says it without fear of successful contradiction, dat de result will invariqbly be four! Dat's a. ora- tor. Mr. Jones was very fond of his old Grand- father elock and when he was moving, he decid- ed not to trust it to the draymen, but to carry it himself. It was a huge atfair and he had to st.op and set it down often to rest. A slightly intoxicated man watched this 'procedure for two blocks and finally accosted him saying, Shay, Mister, llve just got one question to ask you. Why don't you carry a watch in- stead? We 've all heard about the absent-minded professor who poured the syrup down his back and scratched his pancake, but the one that worries us is the one who poured catsup on his shoe-lace and tied his spaghetti. Let poets sing their lilting songs And gaily smite the lyre, Give me the man who whistles while He 's putting on a tire. George: ' ' Where 's Tom il ' ' Vernon: He's over eating in the cafeteria. George: Hai Ha! That's good. Who ever heard of anybody over-eating in the cafeteria? Page One Hundred Thirty-three

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kj,-5EivHbe..r1xr-.-:EXQ 21--Exams still and class day exercises. 22- Stop Thief. 23- Did she flunk ya ? 26-Our schedules are made out for next semester. 27-We won from Whitewater Normal. 29-Phoenix party was held in the gym. Dancing, entertainment and refreshments were enjoyed. FEBRUARY 5-Beloit beat us 26-18. 10-Tgirlixfuillerton had a nightmare in study hall this morning-caught sleeping again, e , r . 11-Flag presented to J .H.S. by Commander Carle. 12-Valentine Party. 13-Friday the thirteenth-Vacation. 16-Carrie Jacobs Bond gave us an entertainment in special assembly. 20-We beat Racine 23-29. 24-Mr. Jack's brother played for us in assembly this morning. MARCH 2-Paid for your Phoenix? 11-Our Report Cards! 12-Our team left for Whitewater to play Stoughton for the opening game. 13-Friday the Thirteenth, so we lost. 17-St. Pat's party. 24-Milton High School band played for us in assembly. 25-Alfred Gullickson played some popular songs in assembly. 26-Girls' Annual Gym Meet-the meet was taken by the Senior B's. APRIL 1-School is closed for the day! Many studes find out that all that is chocolate cov- ered is not good candy. 3-The Gibson-Dahly one ring circus entertained us with some acrobatic stunts. 22-Studes were seen slowly filtering into their advisory .groups to receive decorated pieces of cardboard, called report cards. ' 25-Matinee dance, and Parker surely can play. 4 29-Arthur Echternacht and Ann Palmer were seen standing in front of the Palmer residence eating' bread and butter with brown sugar, this afternoon. 30-Elva Eskew gave us her prize selection in assembly this morning. The Art Gal- lery. We wonder if she as forgotten the beautiful look on that cow's face. We haven't. 10h that soulful look.J 31-Shouts of glee from Y. M. C. A. Hi-Y has annual mater-filius banquet. We learned that Herman Eichmeier is like a curtain, because he should be hung. MAY 1-A double victory at Whitewater. Phyllis Luchsinger and Birrell Walsh won firsts in their Extemporaneous Contests and the Blue Team ran away with the District Track Meet. Whoopee!!! 2-We must have the winning streak-the baseball team beat Orfordville 6-5l 8-We have a new newsy paper today. The Blue-J edited by Miss Jenkins' first hour Journalism Class. 15-Changes may not always be for the good, but the Junior Bal surely filled all ex- pectations and then some. 16-Phoenix goes to press. 22-Luchsinger and Walsh to .Madison for State Extemporaneous Meet. JUNE 5-Help! Exams, Class Play Night. 6-Ditto. 8-Class Day-Oh a,in't they cute? 9-Commencement and Cards. 10-11-12-13-14-15-16-etc. VACATION. Page One Huniired Thirty-two

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z' - Gigi: -Pl-I0g.1-IIX- .ZLKQ C.. 'J Skin Game Deft-fingered folk-the doc, the crook- All have in life their place, The dip extracts your pocketbook, The surgeon lifts your face. Mama, why do they wax people? They don't3 where did you ever get that idea? I heard Uncle tell papa that at midnight the party waxed Mary. Colonel: Been livin' here all your life, Samba? Sambo: New sir, not yet.'i Smith: How are you getting on with your tailor? Jones: Oh he's all right. I've just written him to this effect, 'Dear Sir: Enclosed please find S50.00. I'm darned if I can.' No woman ever takes another woman's ad- vice about froeksf' Naturally, you don 't ask the enemy how to win the war. I'm always in the ring, said the napkin. Me, too, bellowed the boxer. I shined in one last night, said the moon. I wish I were, sighed the fourth finger of the left hand. Johnny came back from the eireus very much excited. Oh, mama, he cried, as soon as he got in the house, Katie spilled some peanuts, and what do you think the elephant did! He picked 'em all up with his va:-num cleaner. Fresh: I've been trying to think of a word for two weeks. Soph: Try fortnight. Queen of Spain: Oh, the baby has the stomach ache. King: Adams, call in the Secretary of the Interior. ' ' Mrs. Jones: What are you thinking of? Mrs. Smith: The same thing you are. Mrs. Jones: Cat! The city of Janesville is worse than Zion City. Howzat? Why, on every corner they have signs, Keep to the Right. Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence in which the word barrister occurs. Johnny: The boy slid down the barrister. Braggart Yes, my ancestors all lived to be old men. Father died at eighty-seven and grandfather at a hundred and forty. Friend: A hundred and forty! Braggart: Yes sir. A hundred and forty East High Street. Mama, daddy called the nurse an angel yes- terday. Will she fly? Yes, darling, very soon. Phyllis fage ninej: Daddy, is coiferdam a bad word? Daddy: No, dear, it is perfectly all right. Phyllis: Well, my teacher has a bad cold and I hope she 'll coiferdam head oi. Digging a hole, my man? Nope, digging the dirt and leaving the hole. Two amateur gardeners were coming to town one morning. Say, Bill, said one, what's good to kill slugs! They are eating up all my radishes. Well, said the other, get a couple of bags of salt and sprinkle in between the rows. The next morning the two met again. How did the salt work? Bill asked. Why, you poor fish, replied the other, when I went out to look at the garden this morning, the slugs were pulling up the radishes, dipping them in the salt, and eating them. Jones: What 's the matter old man! You seem to have some trouble on your mind. Smith: I have. My wife told me to order something, and I ean's remember whether it was a settee or n tea set. Page One Hundred Thirty-four