Canton High School - Cantonian Yearbook (Canton, IL)

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THE CANTONIAN C.H.S I I I I I I THE HIGH SCHOOL MUDSLINGER Volume I May, 19 is No. 1 Entered as first class rubbish at the Canton junkyards Wve do not favor any political party EXTRA! EXTRA! GREAT EXCITEMENT PREVAILS IN THE HIGH ScHooL TO-DAY It is rumored that Tui Vvilliams studied his lesson yesterday. The re- port has not as yet been confirmed and therefore we are still in doubt con- cerning the integrity of the statement. Following the policy we have adopted in the past the Daily Mudslinger posi- tively refuses to believe any of the slanderous reports which have recently been circulated. VVe are of the opinion that undoubtedly some person who was not responsible started the report. not thinking that it might cast a shadow on the heretofore unblemished character of one in our midst. When the reporter for the Mudslinger called upon Mr. 'Williams for a confir- mation or denial of the rumor he seemed very wrought up over the affair and was on the verge of a nervous break- down. He would not make any state- ment but kept muttering' to himself something about the disgrace of it all. VVe extend our sympathy to i'Tui's,' friends and family while they are un- der this awful burden. The very idea of any one even thinking that he would forget himself so long that he would overlook the time honored and estab- lished custom of the Senior Class and lower himself and his classmates by studying against all the rules of the aforementioned organization. NEXT YEAR'S FACULTY VVe are pleased to be able to announce at this time the persons who will constitute next year's faculty. These people have been selected only after very careful thought and consideration on the part of the Board. Principal ........,.,. J. C. Heylman, N. H., L. H. English ...,..........,.,,.,.,,..,...,.,........ Ab Hale, D. B. Latin ,......... ....,.,......... D ean Barrick, B, S. History ........, ........ J olm M. Turnbull, B. E. Debating .,..... ......... ' 'Frog' Goodin, S. S. Chemistry ..,.,,., ......... R uby Bath, P. D. Q. Printing .,.......,. .....,,, ' 'Fett Graham, A. K. Bookkeeping ..,......,,... .,..... N eil Buchen, N. B. Mathematics .,.,.,,......,.......... Beryl Drake, A. B. Household Science .... Phix Eggert. LL. D. Public Speaking ............ Tui VVilliams, S. S. Girls' Swimming Teacher Demont Obenshain, N. H. Manual Training ............ Howard VVood, S, F. Science .....,.......,.,..,.,.., Les McMillan, Ph. D. For the benefit of the expectant public we are publishing a list of the Degrees which are found hanging after the various names: N. H.sNobody Home. L. H.-Laughing Hyena. D. B.+Draw Back. B. S.-Back Stop. B. E.-Bad Egg. S. S.-Sand Shoveler. P. D. Q.iPretty Darn Quiet. A. K.+Annette Kellerman. N. B.-No Brains. A. B.-Always Blufting. LL. D.-Doctor of Light L'Occupations. S. F.SSafety First. Ph. D.-Doctor of Phoolishness. MUDSI ,ING l'1R'S VVANT ADS PAY KETCHEM K SKINNEM Attowieys at Law I. VVILL BURYEM l'nclertalfe1' us do your embalming. It is always Come to us and we will do you to the Let complete satisfaction of . all parties Shingle No. 13 Crook Building to your advantage to look best at all times lVe 'fI1'l'ff0 invesiiynlion III III IIQII 150

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C. I-I. S. THE CANTONIAN JOKES The boy stood on the railroad track, He heard the engine squealg The engineer climbed slowly down And scraped him off the wheel.--V-Ex. Heard at the Peoria tournament: Mr. l: Do you indulge in alcoholic liquors? Youthful Student: Before I answer I want to know if this is an inquiry or an in- vitation. Mr. Snively, to Howard YVood fat play practieej: You will have to have a Tuxedo for the play. H. VVood: VVhat's that, a smoking jacket? Freshman: I have been trying all year to get ahead. Senior: VVell, you need one, all right. Junior Girl: I just feel it in my bones that you are going to ask me to go to the Junior Reception with you. Senior Boy: YVhieh bone, dear? Junior Girl: I think it's my wish bone. First Girl: Does I.es dance well? Second Girl: Yes, he seems to have thc right idea in his feet. First Girl: I guess that's where he has most of 'his ideas. Visitor, at school: YVho is that good- looking fellow walking down the aisle? Student: Oh, you mean Sanders? V. at S.: No. I mean that intelligent look- ing chap. Soph.: Did you ever take ether? Green Freshie: No, who teaches it?--Em. The Freshman stood on the burning deck, But as far as we can learn, He stood witlrperfeet safety, For he was too green to burn.-If.zf. BEDTIME THOUGHTS Now I lay me down to rest, XVaitiug for tO-lT10l'l'0VVlS test: If I should die before I wake, Then I'll have no test to take. A FARMERS LOVE I.ET'l'Elt Do you carrot all for me? My heart beets for you and my love is as soft as a squash. But I am as strong as an onion for you. for you're a peach. YVith your.turnip nose and your radish hair you are the apple of my eye. If you eantaloupe with me. lettuce marry anyhow, as I know we would make a pear. -Fm. Ill I49 Ill- Sr-n'ple,5 To 1133+ F01-'ever' 'HZOQ7-C3217 JRI l.. B I RDS -'-'- ? H , 1 Q .,. O ,,r- i R

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C.H.S. Tl-IE CANTONIAN l I l l l I N THE HIGH SCHOOL MUDSLINGER Volume I May, 1918 No. 1 A word to the 'wise is useless EDITORIAL STAFF Chief Clink Detector ......,. Mr. Ima Nutt General Mismanager .... Mr. Fulla Beans Mismanaging Editor ............ WVillie Klink Garbage Editor ,..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I, M, Full Examining Physician .... Dr. I. Cutemup Chief Crepe Hanger ,,,.,, Youra Deadone Published when necessity demands it. EDITORIAL Attention is one of the greatest faults of the present generation. It under- mines the health of the youth and not infrequently necessitates the student re- maining to repeat a certain course, but over attention also forces one to dis- continue the work at the end of one school year whereas if the student gave less attention while in the class room and spent more time on his sleep he would not cause the instructor in charge of the course any discomfiture bv asking useless and difficult questions which of- ten times do not in the least pertain to the subject of sleep and at the same time he would undoubtedlv be liked so much by the facultv that they would encore him rebeatedlv and he could extend his high school course over seven or eight years instead of finishing in four and having such a narrow educa- tion. ' ' In the final analysis we can state on the highest authority that one should get just as much schooling as possible. NVhy, then, commit an act which would doubtlessly limit the child's high school career to a narrow four year course? Attention, the curse of the age, should be abolished at once before the lives of the generation are ruined beyond repair. Miss FAN ATIC ADVICE This page is edited by Miss I. Min Love Miss Love will answer any question or questions on any subject. It was only with great difficulty that we were able to get this talented young lady to give up a perfectly good job on the editorial staH of the St. David Daily Mudslinger in order that our gentle readers might have the unlimited op- portunity of learning to do the right things in the right way while out in company, so that they will know how to act at home. All inquiries must be addressed to the Advice column of the CANTONIAN. Ques- tions and answers will all be filed carefully away for future reference. Dear Miss Love : The girl of mv heart has deserted me. How can I regain her love? Loon: BACKENFORTH Ans.-WVhy not get a new heart, Louie? Dear I. Min: I have been going with a young man about my age for almost a year but recently he seems very cool. VVhat can be the matter? IAENA WAUGHTEI. Ans.-Perhaps he was in the draft. Dear Min: I am absolutely the best looking fellow in school and I know I can run the school bet- ter than any one else. Don't you think I ought to be appointed general manager? BERYI. DRAKE Ans.aVVhere did you get all the informa- tion? Dear Jladam: I have been going with a young lady in the Junior class ever since I can remember. Please tell me some remedy for this ailment. Rirssrzu. Goonm Ans.-Read up on the subject as much as possible and consult an authority. Perhaps a change would do you good. Say Min: ' I spent a perfectly good quarter to take my girl to the show but she seemed very distant. How come? UAB!! Ans.-The next time get both seats on the same side of the pole. Ill ll. ISI llill